The Day I Felt Old At The Grocery Store

Monday.  That was the day.  Monday, February 15, 2010.

I’m standing in line at the checkout stand with my kids waiting for my turn to put my stuff on the conveyor belt and the cashier was a tad slow, so I begin glancing at the trash magazines that are on display in my aisle.  Most of it is just dumb.  I rarely look in those magazines.

One of the covers had a lady in a bikini on a bench sort of leaning backwards and underneath her in huge letters it says:

MY BEST BODY AT 40

I glance up at the name of the magazine and realize it’s a celebrity magazine, so I glance back down at the lady because I did not recognize her.  I lean in closer to read her name and my eyes bulge out…

DEBBIE GIBSON

WHAT?!!!!!

I grabbed that magazine quicker than a frog catches a fly and began flipping through to find the article.  Everything else around me disappeared. I was on a mission.

The Debbie Gibson?  Teen pop singing sensation, Debbie Gibson?  I totally wanted to BE Debbie Gibson.  I can’t sing good or play the piano – but I have blonde hair, which must stand for something in the music industry, right?  I SO wanted to be her when I was 13.  And wasn’t it just last month that me, Melissa and Kristin went to her concert in Downtown Denver at the Performing Arts Center?  The concert where we sat in the balcony totally singing along and Melissa, to this day, swears that Miss Gibson waved to her, while she was singing “Lost In Your Eyes”, sitting on top of her piano (her trademark).  Yes, this same Debbie Gibson.

    

So, I’m reading through the article and her new boyfriend created this new diet plan ‘Better Than Lipo” and she’s raving about it and blah, blah, blah and “when I posed for Playboy in 2005…”

WHAT?

Is that even legal?  I mean, isn’t that considered child pornography or something?  Playboy?  Debbie Gibson? “Shake Your Love” Debbie Gibson?  “Lost In Your Eyes” Debbie Gibson?  That’s just not right.

Oh, but the article only got worse.

Then she goes on to say that she’s lost 15 pounds recently and she’s more comfortable in her body now then she’s ever been and it has even improved her sex life.

EXCUSE ME???!!!

You can’t say that!  What if your fans are reading this?  Even worse, what if my mom reads this?  She’ll tell me that you’re not a good influence and she’ll take all my Debbie Gibson VHS tapes away.  I won’t be able to mimic you and want to wear cool hats like you.  I won’t be able to get my hair cut like you.  You don’t talk about your sex life with your boyfriend in a magazine for the world to read.  What?  I’m standing there shocked.  My Debbie Gibson.

And then I hear something.  A strange peacock sound.  All of a sudden I’m back in line at the grocery store with my son screaming – the peacock – and my daughter begging me to get her a piece of junk toy they have for sale in the check out stand.

Reality enters back into the scene.  I have 2 kids.  A 4.5 year old and a 1 year old.  I’ve been married 9 1/2 years.  I’m not 13 anymore.  Debbie Gibson isn’t 16 anymore.  We’re all grown up.  I sat there shell shocked for a couple minutes thinking that my favorite singer as a tween (which, by the way, wasn’t even a word when I was a tween) was going to be 40.  And I was going to be 35.

Then I had an internal gasp!  Do you know what this means? I thought.  If she’s almost 40 and I’m almost 35, then that means that the New Kids On The Block guys are all near or in their 40’s too.  Could this day get any weirder?

Sigh.  Please excuse me while I go downstairs to my organized basement and pull out my Debbie Gibson and NKOTB VHS tapes and magazines and allow me to sit and wonder what happened to the last 20 years of my life.

What’s next?  Tiffany doing Geritol ads?

 

remember to:
live.laugh.love.and.celebrate.life.

“I get lost in your eyes
And I feel my spirits rise
And soar like the wind..
Is it love that I am in?
I get weak in a glance
Isn't that what's called romance?
...And now I know
'Cause when I'm lost I can't let go”

Debbie Gibson, Lost In Your Eyes