Eleven Things I’ve Learned From My Children

1.   That they don’t follow the 5 second rule.  Nope.  They follow the 5 day rule.  In fact, I’m learning that they prefer their food a whole lot more crunchy than it was when it was first given to them.  Five days later, found on the floor behind the high chair is a much tastier treat, then served warm on a clean plate on the dinner table.

2.  That even if they are head over heels for a certain food one week, don’t stock up because they’ll hate it the next week.

3.  That they believe it is my duty as their mom to read a book to them wherever I may be and whatever I may be doing – even while I’m going to the bathroom.

4.  That there is a built in sensor in every toilet that goes off the minute Mom sits down to go to the bathroom that alerts the whole family: kids, Hubby, pets…and they all IMMEDIATELY congregate around the bathroom door asking questions and wanting to know when you’ll be out, while wiggling the door knob.  Just give me 30 seconds people.

5.  That Moms are required to go to the bathroom and shower with an audience.  No exceptions.

6.  That even if my daughter is sitting on Daddy’s lap, she will get up, search the house to find me and tell me she’s thirsty or hungry.  Um, okay.  Are Daddy’s legs broken?

7.  That they are like farm animals.  Up with the sun – no matter how early that may be and no matter how late they stayed up the night before.

8.  That standing two inches from my face and loudly whispering ‘Mom, are you awake?’ while I’m taking a nap is obviously an okay thing to do.

9.  That I must look bored when my daughter sees me, because I end up dressing Barbie dolls 5 hours everyday  because it’s ‘too hard’ for her. 

10. That when I tell them to do something, they don’t actually ‘hear’ me until the 10th time it’s come out of my mouth – and then they say, ‘huh?’

11. That in spite of all of these little quirks, I couldn’t love two kids in this world any more than I love my Bella and Scout!

 

 

 

“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.”
~Barbara Bush